It’s official, we hate ourselves

According to’s recent update on their annual rankings it’s become quite clear that UCL students hate UCL.

The rankings are entirely based on the views of students, with 20,000 reviews published online consisting of a minimum of 100 from each university.

Out of the 113 unis which took part, the overall winner concluded to be Loughbourough. And we came 75th. Awkward.


The award categories ranged from accommodation, city life, clubs and societies, courses and lectures, and job prospects.

For a university that has been ranked among the top five academic institutions in the world it does seem bizarre that we didn’t even manage to make it to the top 20… or even the top 50.

Yet the most ego-shattering aspect of these rankings for UCLers is the fact that even strand poly were able to outshine us, claiming 67th place.

The sad truth is our student satisfaction has never really been the best it can be. Even SOAS managed to produce a more satisfied bunch of students who placed their uni at 22nd.

The likes of Oxford and Cambridge as well, coming 29th and 25th respectively, absolutely annihilated any hope we ever had of being “one of them”.

Nonetheless, at least we came above London South bank (76th), and Oxford…Brookes.

We can safely conclude that all our rivalworthy universities in London were able to beat us, all because we quite frankly, as a university, aren’t very fond of UCL.







  • loyal HC goer

    these people don’t know what they’re talking about, the new bit in HC is sick

  • milky pete

    SJ has too many hipsters in it

  • SJ4Life

    the SJ is not shit, its the shit.

  • Joe

    I would inform Mr. Collins that this demonstrates the wide-range of actions which have been undertaken to insult three dead students and their colleagues of effectively killing themselves through their own immaturity and stupidity within just a few days.

    I would also add that I will find out who supported these measures and never vote for them in a local election again.

  • David

    Yes because this won’t just result in a surge of drug use and a mass exodus to Newcastle

  • Anon

    Whilst I imagine everybody can agree that alcohol is some part of the problem, to only tackle that part is ridiculous. To hear fences have been “largely dismissed” is ludicrous and shows the council want to take the easy/cheaper option. To expect a student population to stop drinking is naive at best, surely the sensible solution is to minimise the problems that can occur from alcohol by building fences.

  • Tim Reynolds

    Utterly pathetic! I prop up most of Durham’s bars the amount I drink in them, if they want to go out of business this is the best way to do it…

  • Jack Hardwick


    How on earth am I meant to chop 12 pinters if I can’t have 9 looseners before getting into Klute?! Are you purposefully blunting my axe?! Being the Biggest Lumberjack on Campus (3 years running) entails chopping when want with who I want and how I want. Entering Klute/Waff sober will not achieve a means to my nightly ends.


  • Jack

    So clubs will shelter sober people, and leave drunken people to wander back along the river without their mates? Problem solved! Plus twice the driving limits is like 4 pints, no one but frisbee players are anywhere near legless by that point!

  • CurbStomper

    On that note you guys should come visit Stockton, we’re a lovely bunch. Really we are.

  • Just Fence The River Already

    This solves nothing. It was already established that the students fell in the river AFTER leaving the club; breathalyzing at the door is not going to stop anybody from entering Klute and getting unfalteringly launched. How ignorant can you be…

  • Tom Govey

    This is ridiculous. If there is a good crowd going out, I will carefully measure two 25ml shots into a glass and mix it with summer fruits squash. I will have 2 of these. Then I’ll go to my college bar and order 1 disco waters (maybe 2 if its a really good crowd). This gets me the perfect amount of drunk, and I can have a spontaneous yet safe night at Fabios. THIS is responsible drinking. THIS is what the council needs to encourage.

  • Wut.

    Durham City Safety group think they can stop university drinking culture, is that a dare or a double dare?

  • Hild Bede Wanker

    Who the fuck is this Charlie Capel chap and why is he quoted in every tab article?

  • Richie

    It’s truly tragic that people have lost their lives but Durham students need to realise it’s their actions causing this and need to take action on themselves. Locals have been fine for decades with minimal incidents so what does that tell you about how the students are behaving? Instead of campaigning for fences and police patrols how about having sober students patrol the rivers? Stop making locals suffer for your lack of common sense.

  • Noel

    Should have to wear buoyancy-aids upon entry.